convert to Islam

"My name is Mary (or Mariyam now). I was born to a Catholic Christian family. Since childhood I have attended mass with my family. We lived a normal family life, everyone I knew was Christian. I never knew what a Muslim was or what Islam really was. I and my family saw them and thought of them as terrorists and violent people and never wanted anything to do with them. I lived my life as I wished to live it, though I was taught to follow the Bible, I never did, I turned away from it and lived my own life. I never listened to my parents as a teen, we always fought, my parents also always fought, my father would beat my mother and I could not stand living in that home anymore, also I was into drugs, which I stopped after a few months, but I was not into alcohol. So at age 17 I got a boyfriend and when I turned 18 i went to live with him. My parents did not care about it, they thought i was mature enough to move out, so if it did not bother them it did not bother me. Then I did not have support from my family, so it was very difficult for both me and my boyfriend. Finally, I completed my studies and was qualified to be a nurse. I took the job as a nurse and finally things started getting better. I though now I had a great life - away from parents, boyfriend, job, money. My main focus was to be happy in life, but some how I just couldn't be happy. I tried so many things - sex, drugs, jobs, friends, different activities, but I was never fully happy. Besides this, my boyfriend cheated on me, and I was left alone in the apartment. I wanted to go home, but I was very far from home and all I could do is call my parents. I told my mother how depressed and sad I was and I wanted to go home. Worse than that I wanted to either be happy or to die. I tried suicide twice, but thankfully I failed. One day I thought to do it again, but then I remembered the word my grandmother told me: "Read the Bible, trust in Jesus, and you will always be happy." I never took it seriously, I thought then I will give it a try. At this time I was 21. I took the Bible and read it. After some time I was confused because the Bible makes so many rules that Christians do not follow, so I though...Why would I be a Christian if Christians aren't much happier than I? So I continued living my life, and I got another boyfriend and he came to live with me and support me. I was happy again for a while. At age 22, there came a new nurse to the hospital. She wore a hijab and long dress. She was beautiful. But I did not understand why she always covered her head. Soon, we became friends and she told me she is a Muslim. I was so shocked. I did not know they were that nice to Christians and Americans. We talked a lot about Islam, and I learned how wonderful and peaceful Islam is and that Muslims aren't terrorists at all! We discussed and compared Islam with Christianity. Though Islam had so many more restrictions than Christianity did, I liked it. It was order, love, joy, beauty. I started to love Muslims, and their culture. And the kindness of this woman showed and prooved it. I read about it, studied and when i was 23 i started reading the Quran. I did not understand many things, but with the help of my friend, Samira, I understood more and more. Then I finally asked: What must I do to become a Muslim? She answered: Leave you boyfriend, never go back to him, leave drugs, leave sex, leave all your filthy sins. Say the Shahada. Mean it with your mind and your heart! Wash yourself and pray."
That was it. Shahada. No confessions, no priests, no ceremonies, baptism...nothing. That was simply it. It was so hard for me to leave all these things. But graduatly I stopped everything, and broke up with my boyfriend.
I had nothing left to do. I tried everything. So I thought "Fine. Lets try Islam". I washed myself. Went to my room. Thought about my life and what I did. And I cried. I cried so much and I did not know why I was crying. Tears just kept coming. And I sat there saying: God why??? Why God! Why did you not stop me!!?? Why do you let these things happen Oh God?? I was angry. I hated myself, I wished I never did anything that I did in life. Finally I though...if Islam is the answer, then so be it. If this wont make me happy I said I would kill myself and end my life. After an hour or two of thinking about it. I got up. Faced towards Mecca. Closed my eyes and said the Shahada. I prayed the way Muslims pray-to Allah. After that I felt so good. I did not know why. But I loved the feeling. I called Smira and told her, we were both so happy we cried and thanked and praised Allah. I became a devoted Muslim when I was 24. Indeed I was happier, Samira took me into her home. There, I stayed with her and her family. They showed me love and care. They were certainly not terrorists. They were lovely people. At 25 Samira's father introduced me to another Muslim man, whom I married when I was 26. I live a happy life now and I have 3 children. I am so thankful for Miss Samira. But more thankful to Almighty Allah. Indeed Islam is the true way. Now I love my life, I love Muslins, I pray 5 times daily, I read and study Quran, and my goal is to teach others about Islam, that is what I try to do daily. Through sharing my experience, I want others to see what a beauty Islam is, and what a joy it is to follow ALLAH and the Prophet! Allah is great!